Occidentally Yours
Somnath Batabyal
Somnath Batabyal
How I became a television expert
Somnath Batabyal
It was an uneventful sort of day. I must have done the usual things; go to the University in the morning, read in the library for a while, and then in the late afternoon after a game of squash, come back to the room, hoping to get some writing done. London was freezing and the thought of going out in the evening was hardly inviting.
I had settled down with a book when my mother called on the phone, hysterical. Have you seen the news? No, I replied, slightly panicky. Mumbai is being attacked, she said. The present continuous was ominous. “Being attacked?” Yes, she screamed. I put the phone down and disbelievingly, watched the news for the next hour. A few young men had taken the city hostage. I tried to call friends in Mumbai but the phone lines were cut off. Later, I went to the canteen and in a daze, forgot to pay for the food. The manager ticked me off roundly. I could not bear to explain to her what was going on in my country. Mumbling apologies, I rushed back.
I was back on the net when I got a call from an unknown number. It was from the Al Jazeera news channel. A girl’s voice introduced herself; said that she had got my reference from a mutual acquaintance in India and would I want to come this evening to talk as a security expert and former journalist on the incident in Mumbai. Summoning up my poshest accent, I found myself saying, yes, of course, I would be delighted. At what time would the car arrive?
so i became a television expert ...
An hour or so later I was on air holding forth on the failures of the Indian state, its intelligence agencies and the abysmal, hysterical quality of the reportage. Five years after I had quit television and journalism, I was back and it felt great. I liked being an expert.
I must have appeared knowledgeable. A few weeks later, I was called again. This time I spoke on India’s porous borders and the strategic importance of having friendly relations with our neighbours. The big brother must earn respect and such claptrap of international diplomacy that I had no clue about. The anchor nodded encouragingly and we both did our jobs.
The summers came and people emerged out of the their dark swathes. The sun bathed down on London and one such happy afternoon, I was at the South Bank, sitting by the Thames, probably just idling and happy for it. A call came from Al Jazeera’s headquarters in the Middle East. Could I come to the studio and talk about the Nepali Prime Minister’s visit to India and what that means? No I would not. I do not know why he is visiting. Hell, I cannot even remember what his name is. They change too frequently. Two hours later, having spent time Googling, I was back on Al Jazeera. They seemed grateful for managing to get an expert.
In hindsight it was not a bad job. For a couple of minutes of talk, I got a substantial cheque. Being picked up in a chauffer driven car and getting to wear my only suit was not an entirely unpleasant departure from the student existence of fraying jeans and jostling in the city’s public transport system.
My years of doctoral research were coming to an end. I was preparing to move to Germany and then head towards India on a new research assignment. A few evenings before I boarded the flight, the call came. It was the BBC. The English badminton team had come back from India because of a perceived terrorist threat. Would I care to come as a guest on Newsnight? Hell yeah! I was a national level badminton player once.
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Somnath Batabyal is Fellow at the University of Heidelberg. A former journalist, he is interested in news production practices in Indian media. His book, Making News: Behind the Scenes at Star News and Star Ananda, published by Routledge is scheduled for publication later this year. When not following such lofty pursuits, he dabbles in fiction and is experimenting with graphic novels.
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