An imaginary dialogue between Team Anna and the Congress
By Ratnakar Tripathy
Team Anna [TA] – if you don’t pass the Lokpal Bill this winter we will mobilize the whole nation and agitate.
Congress- but we keep telling you Lokpal Bill is foremost on our agenda.
TA – yes, but we must keep reminding you that you must pass the Lokpal Bill this winter and if you don’t pass the Bill this winter…
Congress – but we will definitely put up the bill in the next parliamentary session so why do you keep threatening to agitate?
TA – yes, but if you don’t is what we are talking about.
Congress – but we will.
TA – yes, but if you don’t keep your promise this winter we will agitate.
Congress – why do you keep passing these threats once the promise has been made?
TA – we are only threatening to agitate which doesn’t mean we are agitating already.
Congress – but we have already made the promise, so, why agitate?
TA – you have made the promise but you must keep the promise too.
Congress – sure, we now promise to keep the promise.
TA – and if you don’t keep the promise, we will agitate
Congress – oh God, not again! We said we promise so why threaten us with agitation?
TA – do you feel threatened by our threats?
Congress – of course, since threats are meant to threaten, aren’t they?
TA – see, caught you! If you feel threatened by our threats, it logically follows that you don’t intend to keep your promise. And if you don’t keep your promise we will…
Congress – okay, now tell us what will stop you threatening us with your agitation?
TA – a good strong Lokpal Bill.
Congress – but we are already promising that.
TA – good. But make sure to keep the promise.
Congress – okay, we promise to make sure to keep the promise.
TA – great! Because, otherwise we will agitate.
Congress – not again! Why do you keep threatening to agitate once the promise is made?
TA – because if you don’t keep the promise we will stop threatening and… [Interrupted]
Congress – …really? In that case, sure, we won’t keep the promise. Now you will stop threatening?
TA – absolutely. We will stop threatening and start agitating.
Congress – oh, no! In that case we will indeed keep the promise.
TA – good. But if you don’t keep the promise we will agitate.
Congress – alright. But why do you keep repeating that all the time?
TA – so you remember, we will agitate if you don’t keep the promise.
Congress – but we remember…
TA – if you remember what we wish to remind you of why do you get irritated when we remind?
Congress – because we remember.
TA – okay, let’s test it. What is it you remember?
Congress – what you wish to remind us of.
TA – and what is that?
Congress – what we remember.
TA – see there you are! Depending on us to remind you! In which case why do you get irritated when we do remind you?
Congress – because we already remember.
TA – remember what?
Congress – that you promise to remind us of something we are not supposed to remember but we remember.
TA – okay if you promise to remember it even if we don’t remind you, we will stop threatening to agitate.
Congress – oh, finally. We have a deal.
TA – what deal?
Congress – every morning till the bill gets passed, soon after we wake up, we will promise to bring in a strong Lokpal Bill. Will that stop you?
TA – from what?
Congress – from threatening us!
TA – No! Every night before we go to sleep we will threaten to start an agitation if you don’t keep your promise. So you wake up in the morning and renew the promise.
Congress – sounds very tiresome. Is it really necessary?
TA – yes, absolutely!
Congress – why?
TA – haven’t you heard? It’s called dialogue!
Congress – okay, you first make the threat.
TA – no, you first make the promise.
Congress – no, you!
TA – no, you.
Congress – no, you!
TA – no, you.
TA & Congress [Chorus] – tu tu main main, tu tu, main main, tu tu main main, tu tu, main main [तू तू मैं मैं, तू तू मैं मैं]…
[conversation inspired by the playwright Harold Pinter]